 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Hi, I'm StuPC... [MORE] (not
to be confused with) The Truth
opened for business in 2001 as an archive for some book
reviews and
stories.
In
2005, however,
the site also turned into a diary
about
life with a very premature baby, Millie, my
daughter.
Today
it
remains an unique
chimera of blog, babies and books.
|
| NEW REVIEWS
Incandescence
by Sam Smithby Greg Egan Wastelands edited by John Joseph Adams Matter by Iain M. Banks The End Of Science Fiction by Sam Smith An interview with Paul McAuley In The Shadow Of The Moon The Electric Church by Jeff Somers The Twilight Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko We Need Madmen Divergence by Tony Ballantyne Brasyl by Ian McDonald Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Parallax View by Keith Brooke and Eric Brown Glorifying Terrorism edited by Farah Mendlesohn World War Z by Max Brooks The Jennifer Morgue by Charles Stross The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes The Night Watch and The Day Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko |
Tuesday 22nd July 2008 Remember when my dad had his heart transplant? Yes? Remember that it was filmed by a Channel 5 film crew? Well, the documentary is being shown on Wednesday 30th July at 9pm. And, even better than that, I have a speaking part in it. :-) My parents have already seen the finished programme and they say it's very good (they actually said, 'too good for Channel 5, really,' but we'll leave that to one side). And while we're at it, let's have another link to the organ donor site. It only takes a minute or so to sign up. You could save the lives of half a dozen people after you die, so why not do it, eh? Trust me, you have no idea of the incredible amount of good donating your organs can do. I think we've decided to give up travelling long distances by train, after the weekend's visit to Swindon. Not that it was so awful, just that, with two girls and only two seats between the fours of us on a crowded train it wasn't as pleasant as it used to be with just three of us in two chairs. That, and we had to carry a car seat with us anyway, so we could get around while in Swindon, it just seems a bit silly. When the girls are a bit older then we'll go back to the train, but for the next couple of years our carbon emissions are going to peak as we drive anywhere outside of London. Not in London, of course. Public transport here is still more than adequate for our needs, I'm proud to say! *** Read my favourite feeds here *** Thursday 17th July 2008 Why I don't particularly like Apple (the computer company). I don't hate them, and I'm not paranoid; rather people (or software) who try and force me to do things their way really annoy me. *** Wednesday 16th July 2008 ++UPDATE++ And Baby A is now in a proper high chair, rather than her bouncy chair that we put on top of the table. She hates sitting in that bouncy chair - in fact, hates being laid down generally - and I mean HATES it; so now she can sit at the table with the rest of the family. Wednesday 16th July 2008 I get home last night and Millie's abuzz with tales of 'The Birdie That Tried To Eat Daddy's Plants'. We go into the garden to water the tomatoes and this is what I hear: 'And a birdie came on your plants and he was trying to eat them and I said "No, birdie," and I shooed them away, and the birdie was trying to eat them and I shooed him away so he not eat them, and I had to say "No, birdie, those are not yours," and he was on your plants and I went up to him and shooed him away, and then I said, "You must not eat those, birdie," and he came down and tried to eat them and mummy was indoors and I had to shoo him away and he was trying to eat them all up, and I had to tell him not to eat them, and I shooed him away...' 'Did Millie have a problem with a bird on my plants?' I asked the Lovely Melanie later. She gave me a funny look and said, 'No, but I did - I told her about it afterwards. Millie was in bed asleep at the time.' Millie and I have bought the Lovely Melanie a new umbrella for her birthday tomorrow, and there have been many, many appeals for secrecy by me, which miraculously she had so far managed to keep. This morning, since Millie was taking her umbrella with her to nursery, she asked where mine was. ME: In my bag, where's yours? MILLIE: In my hand. ME: And where is Mummy's? MILLIE: Mummy, where is your umbrella? THE LOVELY MELANIE: Mummy's lost her umbrella, monkey. MILLIE: Don't worry, mummy, we have bought you a new one! How we laughed! Well, the Lovely Melanie did. She thought it was hilarious. I just kind of sighed. *** Sunday 13th July 2008 Sometimes it's a bit of a drag updating this site - it's not like I don't have better things I could or should be doing, but this weekend we've had such a nice time that I felt there really ought to be some record of it. Friday, went out for a drink after work in the always entertaining Montague Arms in New Cross. I was incredibly cagy about drinking too much since Saturday we had to visit the dentist and I was looking after Millie on my own until Sunday. If there's one thing I've learnt about fatherhood it's that you cannot look after a small child for a whole day if you have a hangover. Even a teeny-tiny hangover that a few cups of tea and an afternoon nap would normally see off is a killer, because you can't get that afternoon nap and those oh-so precious cups of tea. But no hangover for me Saturday! Was very pleased with myself. We were at the dentist's in our old stamping ground of Forest Hill for 10.30am; Millie and I went in first while the Lovely Melanie sat with Baby A (who has, as yet, no teeth). I went first to show Millie that there was nothing to worry about. Of course, sod's law meant that I needed a little bit of work done. Did you know there's now a sort of sliding scale of fillings? No longer is it binary - filling or no filling - now you can have a sort of 'covering' - a bit like a filling, but not as traumatic. I had to have one of those to forestall a bit of decay around a previous (proper) filling. The dentist was keen to get started, but I pointed out that we didn't want to scare Millie, and that maybe he should check her teeth first, so she could go back out...before the screaming started. But wouldn't you know it, Millie needed the exact same thing, for a 'groove' on one of her back teeth. She looked a bit unsure, but luckily it really was a very simple procedure and not at all traumatic. Still, she was a very very brave girl and I was, as always, very proud. My procedure was no less untraumatic. Fortunately, the standard clean and polish afterwards was unpleasant enough to make up for it. God knows why, but the dentist hacked into my gums with his damn cleaning screaming buzzer thing, and I could taste blood for a good 30 minutes after. And in case you think I'm being a damn pussy, so could the Lovely Melanie! We had lunch in the vegetarian cafe, then Millie and I said 'bye' to the Lovely Melanie and Baby A. They were off to Hatfield for a baby shower, whereas we were simply off to Nik and Liz's house for an afternoon of rabbit-bothering. A jolly nice afternoon it was, too. 'Auntie' Liz was at work so it was myself, Nik and Millie for most of the afternoon, and if our childcare wasn't strictly by the book then Millie certainly didn't notice. When we left nearly four hours later she fell asleep in my arms at Brockley station, dozed through the journey to London Bridge, snored over my shoulder as we changed trains there, and didn't wake up until the train left the station. It was great carrying my sleeping girl like that - I felt like a proper dad. Kids are great when they're asleep: you forget all the arguing and tantrums and repetition, and they just become a little focal point of your extraordinary love. I was glad she did wake up, though, because she was fully refreshed and we laughed and played all the way back to Albany Park station. Literally, all the way. We bought some sausage and chips for dinner (the Lovely Melanie had told me to cook that exact meal anyway, but I was tired and the chippie was frying...). Millie asked for a cheap toy out of a vending machine, so we put 20p in and got a ring in return... Aye caramba! Millie loves that ring! It's a 20p piece of plastic, but to her it suddenly became one of her most precious possessions! So, anyway, we ate sausage and chips, did bathtime, watched some bedtime TV and went to bed. Having the house effectively to myself I had planned to read a bit, but was so tired I ended up just watching a load of documentaries on the BBC iPlayer. Today (Sunday) I overslept by more than an hour. Fortunately Millie didn't notice (I don't think), and after breakfast and a chat with Nanny and Grampy on Oovoo (we don't use Skype any more, Oovoo is waaaay better) went to the shopping centre at Bexleyheath to get various bits and pieces. Millie was in fine humour again, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world. An old lady complimented Millie on her intelligence upon hearing us discussing what to get the Lovely Melanie for her birthday; Millie was fascinated by tailor's dummies and jewellery; we bought some pretty new shoes (with flashing lights), and Millie picked out a truly brilliant birthday card. The first thing Millie did when the Lovely Melanie phoned us on the bus coming home (having just gotten back from Hatfield and found a suspiciously tidy, but deserted house) was tell her about the new shoes. I could hear the fear in her voice: 'What are they like? Have they really got flashing lights in them?' Meaning, 'Oh, Christ, please tell me you haven't bought her a pair of clown shoes! With lasers!' As it turned out, I'm not a complete idiot, and the shoes were approved. Following an unfortunate post-lunch poo incident (don't ask) which required Millie to take an inpromptu and thorough shower, we then spent the afternoon in the garden: me doing some gardening, Millie learning The Joy Of Mud. She started off fully clothed, with new shoes on. By dinner time she was in wellies, pants and t-shirt, and needing yet another session in the bathroom. Baby A was scheduled for a dip, too, but she's much better at bathtime than Millie ever was at that age, and Millie is really so very very good with her in the water. I did all the Baby A washing for the first time tonight, and was gratified to get a few more smiles out of the experience. It's hard to capture Baby A's smiles on camera: they're so wide, naive and completely honest - or does everyone's baby seem that way to them? - that inevitably anything seen on camera somehow misses out a really essential element of it. Phew! And that was the weekend! Just time to say congratulations to Catherine and Luke, friends of the Lovely Melanie, who have just announced that they're having twins. Er, good luck with that, guys! *** Thursday 9th July 2008 This just in from the Lovely Melanie: 'Millie and I were just listening to Starman by Bowie on the radio; she asked me what it was about and I said it was about men who lived in the stars. Apparently, David Bowie isn't allowed to fly up to see the men in the stars because his Mummy will be very cross and he will have to go on the naughty step.' She's quite the disciplinarian these days, is Millie: harsh, and not even especially fair. Baby A has just been weighed at 12lbs 3oz, so she's only gained 9lbs, which is about half what was expected. No one's worried however, as she's such a happy little soul, has recently started sleeping through the night (so gets her milk in more concentrated bursts) and hasn't been eating too well for a few days anyway because of the flu. I am off to St James's Park this afternoon with work. They're sending the entire London office there for some free food, free booze and general larking about. Now that's what I call a proper company! ***
Wednesday 9th July 2008 Poor Baby A still has a nasty cold, and the coughing makes her vomit even more than usual. Still, she's smiling through it, like a baby Ray Charles. The rest of us are simply gritting our teeth. Millie was on fine form this morning: not only helping us by fetching wipes from the kitchen when we're sat in the midst of a great milky puke sea, but also with her comments. Stood at the bus stop this morning a young woman walked past wearing a lot of perfume (not quite as much as older ladies tend to wear, but still an excessive amount) causing Millie to blurt out, 'That lady smells funny!' and me to nearly fall over from laughing. Ah, maybe you had to be there. *** Monday 7th July 2008 Something of a rushed update here, since things were quite busy over the weekend with Millie's birthday party, but we all came down with flu on Sunday and are only just feeling better now. :-( Even Baby A has a touch of it, but is soldiering on through, bless her. But, yes, an excellent birthday party on Saturday, busy, but not too busy, with most uncles; only one auntie, sadly, a full complement of grandparents; Millie's friend Ben and his mum, Sharon, who the Lovely Melanie and I first met at the ICU at Lewisham Hospital when Millie was there - they were in neighbouring cots in the ward. The sun shone, food was eaten and some photos were taken (as usual, see Flickr for those), we went down to the woods (as usual, Millie came back in just her pants following a dip in the river) and a lovely afternoon was had by all. Oh, and Millie got a new ballerina dress from Grandma (the Lovely Melanie's mum) much to the chagrin of Nanny (my mum). Grandma had two girls, herself, whereas Nanny had three boys, and so has been dying to buy some girlie outfits for about 30 years. Baby A excelled herself, too - she is such a smiley baby, I've never seen anything like it: a shy little grin which quickly lights up into a massive full-beam smile of delight whenever anyone catches her eye. She's got a knack for charming people has that one. *** Thursday 3rd July 2008 Ohh, I hate having to do that - shifting all the older entries into the archive section of this website (still known as 'Millie's Story', even though it's far from being just Millie's story any more) so that this title page doesn't become kilometres long and take ten minutes to load. It takes ages, there are always horrendous problems, and it's boring. All of these things are my own fault - caused by some bad design and titling decisions in the very early days of this site; decisions which to undo now would require a whole weekend's worth of fixing, testing, swearing and misery. And the result of all that work would be nothing that you, my dear audience, would even notice. It's interesting (I think) to look back over the history this website a bit now though. You may not realise it but I only started The Truth because my ISP gives me quite a large amount of webspace for free. It seemed a shame to ignore their generosity so I thought I'd set up a website. What to put on that website though? What did I have to say that was worth publishing on the web? Well, way back in 1999 I'd started writing book reviews for a couple of publications, and some of these reviews were only published in print ('how barbaric!' I hear you cry), so that they were forever lost once the magazine had been and gone. Indeed, a couple of reviews really have been lost (fortunately, in at least one case - I wrote a lacklustre review of Distraction by Bruce Sterling, a book which then won a hatful of awards). So, yes, I decided to set up this webspace as an archive for my book reviews - a body of work which was still in single figures back then. But what to have on the front page? How to get people to visit the site on a regular basis? How to get the content updated other than on the sporadic occasions when I produced a review? This was all before personal blogs became popular, you understand, but, in a (ahem) brave and forward thinking move, I decided to use the front page - this page you're reading now - as a editorial page for me to sound off about whatever the hell I damn well felt like. Basically, to blog. There was a fair bit of swearing, some ill-judged criticism of various people and institutions, and some truly horrific graphic design decisions. Probably very few people read it and even fewer remember it, which is a shame since all the writing that went on there for the first four or five years was never archived and is almost entirely lost. It was a deliberate decision not to save it, however: I decided that such a gesture would prove I didn't take things too seriously, as well as showing that I had enough confidence in my writing ability that it didn't matter if content was lost because I could easily write more good stuff. Ah, what can I tell you? I was young, it was a crazy time. ;-) All that changed when the Lovely Melanie went into hospital just before we had Millie. Both of us lived quite a way away from our families, things really were crazy around then, and I certainly didn't want to spend what little time I had away from the hospital or work talking on the phone, so the website became a news service, a diary, a way to keep family and, to a lesser extent, friends up to date on what was happening. And that was it - The Truth then was just a ready-made notice board for news about mother and daughter. It was never intended to carry on like this and be carefully backed up and archived. Those few months after Millie's birth, though, were such an important point in our lives that my earlier decision to let what I'd written simply vanish didn't seem right anymore. Initially, I had planned only to keep the entries when Millie was born so we could show her in future how things had gone (and remember, of course, that at the time we were far from sure that there would be a Millie to show them to...). But as time went on, and I looked back over what I'd written from a distance of a month or two, it already seemed as though I was losing some of my memories of those crazy days in the hospital, so I carried on updating the website and decided, when the page eventually started getting a bit unwieldy, to keep it. And I have done ever since. So nowadays (not to be confused with) The Truth is at least as much a diary as it is a book review archive or soapbox: something I never would have expected back in 2000. Another completely unexpected side-effect has been that it allows me to say important things about friends and family that I probably wouldn't be able to say to their face - how much I love them or appreciate things they've done for me. What can I tell ya? I'm English, I'm male, I'm from a pretty undemonstrative family - this is my emotional outlet. How long will it keep going? I have no idea. There are no plans to stop at the moment. I think I'll keep it going until the girls are both grown up, so that I can remember things that would otherwise have been lost. Hell, I already read back over it and am surprised at what I've forgotten, so who knows what little might remain in 15 years time? I wonder what will be here at stupc.co.uk in 15 years? *** Monday 30th June 2008 A rockstar-style weekend, in the sense that we had a seam-stretchingly tight schedule of public appearances, meet 'n' greets and outings to make. Not that we didn't enjoy it all, and not that both the girls didn't put on exceptional performances whenever called upon to do so, but we were all a bit tired and emotional by today. Thursday's trip to Margate was an auspicious start - weather was nice, journey was quick, and we didn't get lost once. Margate's a nice town with a beautiful beach and a lovely seafront (only spoilt by an inexplicable concrete towerblock monstrosity built slap-bang in the middle of it). Millie loved the beach and the sea; crabs and jellyfish, eh, not so much. The whole experience was only improved (for her, at any rate) by a massive inflatable bouncy Tigger who also happened to 'live' on the beach. Friday's planned trip to Chislehurst Caves started off well, stumbled a bit when we were hit by some very heavy showers, and almost staggered to a halt when the caves turned out to be unsuitable for children. Not forbidden, by any means, but the staff cheerfully advised against taking them down there. Fortunately, the Lovely Melanie remembered a nearby children's play centre, and we went there instead. Millie loved it; I thought it rather resembled a stupendously loud, but well padded and exceptionally safe part of Hell, which you may say is only because I'm a grumpy old adult, if you could ask Baby A, however, and if she could talk, she'd tell you that she was a bit overwhelmed by the experience, too. Saturday saw us drive over to Swindon first thing in the morning, there to meet...well, about half the population, I think. Ah, I jest, of course! We had a lovely day meeting uncles, aunties, cousins, godparents, friends, nannies, great-nannies, etc. etc. Both Millie and Baby A were brilliant - despite being completely shattered by late afternoon the Millie Show and All-Star Amber both retained their strictly professional edge: smiling, laughing and playing with everyone. Well done, girls - your mother and I were very very proud of you both that day. Sunday morning we opened Millie's presents and cards, even though it was a day early. This year Millie could open them all herself and was even suitably excited by some - others were frenziedly torn open...and dropped on the floor in favour of the next wrapped package. No malice intended, but no apology forthcoming for the lack of grace, either. It was actually quite funny to watch: 'what's this...? Oh. What's that? Mm-hm. What now? Wow!' Next on Sunday was the long-awaited trip to Cotswold Wildlife Park, courtesy of a generous gift of some tickets from Rich and Carla. Amber...well, you could take Amber out for a day to a public toilet and she'd probably enjoy it if you paid her enough attention; Millie is marginally more demanding these days. She was particularly impressed by the bats, by the miniature train (she even thanked the driver when we got off, completely spontaneous and unprompted by us!) and by the petting zoo. It was a lovely family day out, as all my immediate family made it, and so did my uncle Maurice, auntie Jackie, cousin Mark and his lovely wife, Maxine. We all had a really nice day out. I should probably mention the big slide, too. There was a children's playground in the park, and one of the attractions there was a damn big slide - one of those steep, twisty-turny tubey ones built in a tree and with a daunting metal staircase leading ever upwards to the commanding heights. I honestly thought Millie would blanch at that particular beast. I thought she'd look at it, pause, and then run back to the swings or the more reasonably sized slides. Did she heck! She paused only to draw breath before running up those stairs! I was so proud! One minute later there was an almighty clang and a startled Millie appeared. Unprepared for the descent, she'd banged her head on the way down and needed a cuddle... ..for 15 seconds, then she was back up those stairs! But after a few minutes of children popping out of the slide at five-second intervals (sometimes less) a grown woman appeared and said that a little girl up there 'was a bit nervous'. So I climbed up the stairs myself to find, yes, a nervous Millie hanging around the top of the slide. With just a few reassurances however before she was soon on her way down again, and since forewarned is forearmed she enjoyed it a lot more this time. And the time after that. And the time after that. In fact, I think she was on there for about an hour, round and round and round, overtaking children two or three times her age. There are pictures from the weekend on Flickr. One other great thing was to have my dad there with us: not just sort of creeping along behind, but there with us; keeping pace with Millie, lifting her up, throwing her around and playing all day long with her. I'm not sure who was having the most fun, him or her. Anyway, it's great to have him back. :-) *** Wednesday 25th June 2008 Oh, dear - meant to write a much longer piece here today, but I was been clobbered by a migraine and had to come home from work this afternoon. Basically, I took Millie into nursery this morning, as usual, and she managed to impress me on three counts with grown-up she's becoming. 1. She jumped off the bus without holding my hand - a full-on, two-footed leap down to the pavement. 2. She could reach the buttons at traffic lights without me lifting her up. 3. And finally, she could just about push open the main door at nursery, a big spring-loaded one. Baby A is also on her last ever night-time feed tonight - from now on the Lovely Melanie and I can go to bed at 7pm if we want to! Whoo-hoo! Obviously, neither of us are really going to miss this, but I do feel slightly sad that that's it for us now with the babying. We're never ever planning on doing it a third time, it's a part of my life that's now finished though, something that we'll never do again (unless we get grand-children). I'm not back at work for a week now: tomorrow we're hiring a car and heading off to Chislehurst Caves; Friday we're going to the seaside (not sure which side of the sea yet); Saturday to Swindon; Sunday to Cotswold Wildlife Park, and Monday - Millie's third birthday - back to London. And on the Tuesday we will no doubt rest. *** |